Republi-cant History

Happy birthday America! Here is a quick historical wrap-up as seen by the Republican Party. The Founding Fathers, including the ones who owned slaves and argued for the continuation of slavery, fought tirelessly for the ending of slavery. The Revolutionary War began in New Hampshire with Paul Revere clanging bells and shooting guns to warn the British they wouldn't be taking away our guns. The heroic army of the Confederates fought off with courage the invaders from the North because of fighting for states’ rights. Franklin Roosevelt tried to make the US a communist country but Senator McCarthy heroically saved the nation and preserved our liberties. John F Kennedy, one of the greatest Republicans in history, served brilliantly until his assassination when he was replaced by the evil Jimmy Carter, who nearly brought the nation to it's knees. Then Ronald Reagan came in to restore the nation to its greatness. Reagan oversaw the moon landing and ushered in civil rights alongside his good friend Dr. Martin Luther King. Bill Clinton murdered Vince Foster to become President, and then helped orchestrate 9/11.  Al Gore tricked the world into worrying about the environment because he told everyone he invented the internet. George Bush was appointed by the Democrats until Obama came in to steal the election with the ACORN voting intimidation.