Rupert Murdoch, Australian American media mogul and CEO of News Corporation, was arrested Sunday by the Metropolitan police for 47 years of an ongoing and consistent expulsion of air from the lungs without expectoration. This relentless dry cough finally wore out the patience of the Murdoch family, the stockholders of News Corporation, and the entire United Kingdom. “It was just too much,” said an executive of News Corp speaking on terms of anonymity, “Do you know what its like to hear this cough, day after day, year after year? I mean, sir, please, a cough drop?” Another News Corporation employee added, “It began as a minor irritation, a pet peeve. By the third decade, it had become unbearable by any measure within the realm of human understanding.”
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