Rand Paul in Speechifying Matrix

Sen. Rand Paul

Philologist

Not since Roscoe Conkling in 1840 had an US Senator faced the conundrum which Senator Rand Paul faced earlier this week. The problem was this: he inadvisably did what he was warned by his mentors in the Senate never to do- he attempted, on the Senate floor, to use the words: “unprecedented, precedence, and president,” in a sentence. This attempt trapped the Senator in a verbal matrix for 45 minutes: “our President, unprecedented, our president, I present, the president who, without precedence, being toward the precedent, and I and...” This sad trap continued until a noted philologist from Oxford was summoned and able to use an ancient string of conjugated Druid verbs to bring Rand out of this whirlwind of verbal confluence. It worked!