Morning in Columbus

Do you love the smell of napalm in the morning? How about the smell of evil? Of bacon? Of elephants? Of time? That was my morning in a place as strange as Columbus. In the distance I see a 'Buffalo Wild wings' outside my window. It lays quiet. Developing.....

Super8 columbus indiana

I am writing this from my iPhone at the super8 in. Columbus, Indiana. It's really great. You would really love it. Good luck to you all.

Clarence Clemons dies

When the change was made uptown
And the big man joined the band
From the coastline to the city
All the little pretties raise their hands
Im gonna sit back right easy and laugh
When scooter and the big man bust this city in half
With a tenth avenue freeze-out, tenth avenue freeze-out
Tenth avenue freeze-out...

Green Lantern Review

Remember when they did a Superman movie in the 70s and the other planet in the galaxy was just a close shot of old guys sitting around large ice balls, then a bunch of big heads yelling to Terrance Stamp that he would have to live inside a plate of glass and float around the universe forever? Now that was a cool piece of film-making, in depicting another technologically advanced planet, compared with what 'magic' they failed to work here. What I saw in the previews of this nightmare of a movie was the actor Ryan Reynolds playing Jarr Haldon.  Never saw the movie actually, but it looks like 2 hours of hooey. Wait , Peter Skaarsgard is in the film, whoop dee doo!  When the promoter of a film has the lead actor get on talk- shows and talk about how he did his own stunts to make the film, get far far away. Oh yeah and the camera guy got his niece to decide what film speed to use for an upcoming shot. Do not go see this movie because I 'can see through dark and night and you don't have to spend money on Green Lantern's light'. Did you also know that one of the criminals in the film is 'Solomon Grundy', a monster who became super-powered when he, a developmentally-disabled gym teacher, was crossing the street and was hit by a radioactive Green Bay Packer team bus? Again, didnt see the movie. I have to admit, if you want to take a girl looking for a ring to make her no longer want a ring...bring her with to see this film. But they should only show this movie on Al Gore's birthday and St Patrick's Day..you know, all that green.

Review of "Hangover II"

"Hangover Part II" is a strange title for a film that is not really another part of the first ‘Hangover’, but rather the "further adventures of..." type film. In the ‘Hangover Part II’, the main characters spend very little time suffering from a hangover, and a great deal of time trying to find out what happened in their black-out. Other inexplicable aspects to the film is how little reaction anyone has to a severed finger, and how little bleeding or pain comes from a severed finger. The kid who has his fingered severed seems to say it was worth it due to all the fun he had and how he also learned an important life lesson. (Next time, try a seminar.) Also, why would the stunning girlfriend of Stu really want to marry Stu? And do you think in a movie like this, where the story is set in Thailand, that there will be a misunderstanding involving a she/male type prostitute? Could be.  The scene where the characters are assembled on a roof-top of a penthouse-type building and things start shaking and a helicopter comes rising over the side of the building at the last possible moment when the heroes are about to be done in...I've seen this scene played out in too many movies this year and that includes the movie about the Lincoln assassination, just kidding. The beautiful exotic scenery and the smoking monkey makes me want to say you should really see this film. Now when I say that the ‘smoking monkey’ makes me want to say you should see this film, I am not saying that a very attractive monkey is threatening me to tell you to see this film. The monkey puffs on cigarettes. How is it that monkeys can smoke in restaurants in Thailand but people can’t smoke on the sidewalks of New York city? Not sure. This could be our second worst endorsement this week including the Gingrich endorsement. In all seriousness, go see "Hangover II" with its smoking monkey, she/he prostitutes, drugs, cruelty, violence, hatred, and mirth. Remember, there are really only three members of the "wolf pack." (The one guy isn't really in it, he just takes phone calls at various plot points.) You might really enjoy this achievement in the cinematic art. (Yeah did you read that last line Hangover producers? You can use it as a blurb on the DVD set!)

Jets lose 'player-run' practice

The New York Jets lost their “player-run” practice today.  Due to the NFL lockout, the Jets were forced to organize a 'player-run' practice in an undisclosed location in New Jersey. Although the Jet’s player taunted the practice session with promises of victory, the team fell short. The players blamed the loss on the struggles of their ‘rookie’ Quarterback Mark Sanchez, now entering his third season. 

Anthony Weiner enters treatment center

Congressman Anthony Weiner entered a treatment facility today carrying only a few articles of clothing, a laptop computer, an iPAD 2, and a blackberry phone. "The congressman is going to be under a strict regiment while at our facility," an on-site counselor said. "In a remarkable step forward, he has volunteered for various menial jobs around the facility including cleaning in the treatment centers' computer lab after hours."

Sarah Palin victory

The lamestream media is at it again. Sarah Palin, while leaving her tour bus, was peppered with a barrage of questions of a familiar quality from reporters from various news outlets. Here is a sample of the questions thrown her way:

"What was the title of a 1985 film starring Anthony Andrews and directed by Jeff Kanew?"

"According to the 'urban dictionary' what six letter word is a way of communicating understanding a friend's reference?"

"What word begins with a 'g' and rhymes with motcha?"

Palin's answer to all three :"gotc*a"....well-done gov'nor.

Gingrich Endorsement

We here at the blog are announcing the endorsement of Newt Gingrich for President of these here United States. Why? The man began his presidential campaign by taking a two week cruise in the Mediterranean. This speaks to the qualities we admire: slothfulness, knowing how to pace oneself, knowing how not to peak too early, comfortable enough with oneself to indulge in luxuriant pleasures at the worst possible moment, and knowing that if one has the opportunity to give speeches and participate in debates or go on a two week Mediterranean cruise, one chooses the cruise. Now, driving around in a bus in Gettysburg, Pa, in the broiling  heat, that's just wrong.

Suns of Hagerstown

The Hagerstown Suns (Class A Washington Nationals) play in a place as awful as it sounds..Hagerstown. But they play in a nice venue. The loudspeaker is cranked up about 3 times the necessary level, but the atmosphere is everything you want in the minor league experience. The Suns lost to the Greensboro Grasshoppers. Grasshoppers is about as original a nickname as you can hope for. I would say that if you have never been to a Hagerstown Suns game then you should consider yourself lucky, just kidding, you should really check out a game in Hagerstown, MD, at Municipal Stadium.

Ten Best Ravens Ever

Ray Lewis, Jonathan Ogden, Jamal Lewis, Matt Stover, Ed Reed, Todd Heap, Peter Boulware, Tony Siragusa, Ray Rice, Shannon Sharpe.

Harold Camping Movie Reviews

I'm doing some movie reviews. You can take anything I say with a grain of salt since I said the world was going to end last Saturday. Wow, did I ever put my foot in my mouth with that one. Oh well. Anyway, here are my film reviews for this week:

"The Hangover Part II" This film is exactly like the "Hangover", much like my apocalyptic predictions of 1994 and 2011. This film trades in Asian-stereotypes and debauchery for cheap laughs...in other words, a masterpiece and eerily similiar to my 1994 and 2011 predictions.

"Kung Fu Panda 2"..Another sequel. Talk about your world-enders. I give it a big thumbs down. Even pandas can't stand pandas. Adding Jack Black might make the panda-hating-panda tension even worse.

"Puzzle"... An Argentina women who finds answers to life through doing jig-saw puzzles. This was supposed to be a joke right? I was really praying for my apocalyptic predictions to come through while sitting through this clunker.

"The Tree of Life"...  A Terence Malick film. The man has done 4 films in 50 years. Lets hope he makes it another decade before the 5th film..whoopsie unless that  Oct 21 prediction comes through.

Remember everyone my new prediction for the world to end is October 21. Just please don't get up on me with questions about this. Give a brother a break.

Fox News

Today I was on a rodent, a rabbit, and a small reptile. It was a good day . Mostly I layed around until night, then took a walk looking for some grub, or as is sometimes called, "prey". Anyway, I stood next to a tree and took a few sips from the creek. I think I saw some people, not sure.That's about it for now.

Arsenio Hall also having last show after 25 years

It isn't only Oprah Winfrey who is ending her show after 25 years. This week, Arsenio Hall is also ending his talk-show after 25 years. Hall's program stopped being broadcast in 1994, but he has been running the show since then in his basement. "It will a very emotional day next week for my last show", said Hall. "I"m thinking of putting out my good dish-ware for this." For his last show, Hall is looking toward some memorable guest from his past. "I think Vanilla Ice is in town and might stop by, he still hasn't replied to my text," said Hall.

World has already ended for Harold Camping

Harold Camping isn't waiting for next week for the world to end. Having just been dumped by his girlfriend Darla, he is telling friends that the world has already ended. "That B^^^^h really tore my heart out and chewed it up. What's the point of going on?" said Camping to a close friend. "Harold is really broken up about this," said the friend. "His only satisfaction is that the universe will be imploding in about 6 days so his ex won't be able to enjoy too much time with Marty, the dentist from Durham he's 90 percent sure she dumped him for."

Bin Laden shocking DVD collection

Earlier this week it was announced that Osama Bin Laden's compound, disrupted by Seal Team 6, had amassed a collection of porn material. But what was of even greater humiliation was the more recent discovery that the residents of the compound had collected seasons 1 through 5 of the sit-com "How I Met Your Mother". Apparently, public enemy Number 1 was a huge fan. "He really loved the self-referential humor and whimsical flashbacks," reported an inside source. "But he was kind of pissed that they took so long for the narrator to finally meet the eponymous mother."

Treme

David Simon, who created the HBO series Treme is from this area. He grew up in Silver Spring, went to University of MD and began his writing career in Baltimore. He created both "Homicide: Life on the Streets" and "The Wire", two shows I admired. Now he is doing Treme, set in New Orleans. Interestingly, one of the themes of the show is about who "belongs" in New Orleans, who is authentically from there and who are the "tourists" and the 'carpetbaggers". It is interesting and ironic because Simon is from another place and feels free to offer his own heartfelt take on the city- while being highly-critical of others who are doing the same thing. I found Treme to be adequate in the episodes that I viewed. The ideas of the connectivity of humanity, the sprawling novel, the multi-layered stories, the ensemble cast, all hit a predictable yet satisfying note. The music incorporated into the show is true New Orleans jazz and extraordinary. But I kept wondering why they couldn't get a native to take on the subject of this city's rebirth from Katrina? (And why are the more heroic and redeemable characters in Simon's work white people working hard to save the "wayward" black man..but that is a subject for another post) Anyway, do yourself a favor- skip the TV show and go to the Crescent city itself.

New Orleans and back

Sorry that there have been no new postings here on the blog for about a week. I went to New Orleans to see my nephew at his university there (Tulane). New Orleans is everything that comes to mind when you think of it: music, history, architecture. It is a haunting experience as much as a city. The Frenchmen Street, which I believe is part of the 7th ward, has the best clubs for music. The French Quarter is full of tourists but has the 18th century architecture and is buzzing with life. We walked about the French Quarter in the early hours of the morning while it was quiet and serene, as well as late at night when it was hopping with revelers and both experiences were sweet. We visited the Treme and the ninth ward. On the drive back, we went through places historic to the civil rights movement including Montgomery, Alabama, and the spot the bus had stopped where Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat for a white man (initiating the Montgomery bus boycott). Tulane is a great school by the way. More to come about about the Crescent city including my take on another Baltimorean's efforts to portray the city- David Simon and the HBO show "Treme". 

One day while Scout and Jem are out hunting, something happens that proves to them once and for all that their father's philosophy of nonviolence does not come from weakness. Jem spots a mad dog heading for the street where the Finches live. The dog's odd behavior shows that it has rabies, a disease that is fatal, not just to the animal but to a person bitten by it. Calpurnia orders the children indoors and alerts the neighborhood. Soon the sheriff, Heck Tate, arrives with Atticus. But when the moment comes to shoot the dog, the sheriff hands his rifle over to Atticus, with the comment that Atticus is the only marksman who could be sure to put the animal out of its misery safely with a single shot. This is the first hint the children have ever had that their father was once known as "One-Shot Finch," the best hunter in Maycomb County.